Dont know where it goes :o)

And I am still wondering why I ever stopped listening to music in office? Ahhh... the fun and my own personal world where I could walk alone without worrying about anything or anyone...sigh.... I guess it was a bad decision after all.. :o)
So weekend was good to some extent but then came Manu and her fiance...and then it really fucked up my mind..big time..here was this girl who can make any guy happy and be his ideal wife and friend and what does she do? She starts to spoil it all...in any way she can and at the same time not having the guts to do it completely...aaarrrggghhhh...
Maybe that's a part of life? That you will have everything that is needed but even then you end up not using it ..but on the contrary you end up being careless about it to the extent that you spoil it... reminds me of "don't go chasing waterfalls" by TLC :o)

or like always..I might be completely wrong (!!??)..coz inside I realize I am the one confused :o)
Seriously..I don't know what's the problem with me and why can't I see the world in B&W and have to always see it in multiple shades and myriad of shapes... till the time that it freaks me out and I end up hiding under someone ... till I don't get kicked out :o))

So what else is on my mind? The fact that I am lonely at times and the feeling has just been growing over the past month or so and if I am unable to keep it in then it would mean another sad episode in my life..another incident that will start (although I am totally at a loss as to with whom..) and then end up being an unfortunate accident... Sometimes I wonder why I do this to myself ?? As in...it is heights of stupidity and I should just let go of all this feeling of "wanting to be needed" and whatever crap my head throws in these times.....

I guess we have to let go of things that hurt us even though they may be very beautiful... I guess letting go is something I need to practise all over again :o) Not that I am as bad as I was about 4 years ago but I nee dto let go of everything and not just everyone.... Hmmm.. But then again I wonder..IS IT TIME???

Oh yess..Time for meeting :o)

Stupid fucking office and what not.....till next time..

Adios..