Why ??

Just listening to this song by Scorpions...

We all live under the same sun..
We all work under the same moon
Then why...

If everything is the same then why do I feel that everything has changed?? WHy have I changed from the person I was....why am I the way I am now.......why are people different?? Why has everything changed??

So much has happened that I never blogged abt or told anything...small things ..big things....all shaping the way I like/dislike things.....small things that just got stuck in some crevice of my brain..and they linger on...and they dont hurt or soothe..juts stay there.....

Like wen I was in KL airport..I saw the coldest blue eyes....so cold that I cant even explain in a 1000 words...the coldest eyes in one of the most beautiful women arnd........and it just tsuck and even now wen I close my eyes I can see them...right in front of me as they were there......sending a shiver down my spine which is a mixture of fear and awe.....

Like this guy I met on my first flight to KL.....a south indian guy whose ancestors had settled in Malaysia ....this guy was from ISCKON....and over the next 4-5 hrs I had an amazing flight... some ppl are so beautiful inside that u end up talking to them for the whole nite and then u feel fresh for the next whole day...(yup didnt sleep for 2 days after that....was ina v gud mood..)

Like this lady next to me wen I was coming to KL the next time from Delhi....and was just looking at her in the boarding lounge...this lady was wearing a simple salwar and was carrying it like most Indians cannot..and she ended up sitting next to me....and I asked her..how long she had been in India..she smiled..and said.."20 years"...wot ensued was totally inexplicable..I opened up my heart like I had never done to anyone ever before...ended up telling her all my life's problems and my past...and for everything she had a sweet answer..and I still remember them wen I am down......She lives in India and visits Australia once in 5 years...
Wot she told me that nite....made me think....and made me happy as to how simple things were..and I was just unnecessarily complicating them....( didnt take her contact as I didnt want to run to her everytime I had a problem...)

Then everyday I see 2 beautiful kids of the lady from the grocery store across my apartment... they play and keep smiling..and I just wish they stay that way forever....

Then something bad happened last week..went to a disc cum nite club and it came out to be an ultra swanky and posh girl selling joint.....and I just felt damn uncomfortable there....but ppl arnd me were all over the babes.....I just cudnt...cudnt get myself to even talk to them..... and now someone says we will go to a lap dancing joint...all i could do was smile feebly.....

SO many things that I feel lazy just to pen it all down and am afraid that words will not do justice to all that has happened....and my experiences there......

Just that I want to go back to Pune for somedays...not bcoz of frnds alone..but coz I go back to the same places which somewhere hold a special place in my heart..some remind me of the gud times..some of the bad times..some of both....and I suddenly feel all the feelings I felt wen I was there...it is as if suddenly 2 ends of a conductor join and I feel electricity pass thru me.....
I still miss the missing of my heartbeat wen I saw that special some1..and of the times spent together..and where she said what...and where it finally ended....and the times spent with my friends after that..the places we drank...just so that I cud stop thinking abt her.....of the movies we saw just so that I cud run away from my office problems....of the evenings over a coffee that made me feel rejuvenated.....of the rain that hit me like a cold spear on my chest and of the rain that made me feel sad..of the rain that made me happy..of the flooding ....of sitting in Barista just watchjing the rain pour outside..watching people go abt doing their things.....of everything...

Tried to get the same feeling in Hyderabad but was unsuccessful and Malaysia is a far cry from all that..so just want to go to Pune....

It just makes me feel the same complicated self that I was earlier.....rather than the in ur face snobbbish a&*h*&* that I am now.......

Smwhr between coping wid not being able to make it thru CAT and changing jobs and city ..I changed so much that even I sometimes dont recognize myself......

Guess I am Dead nowadays...eh......