Sometimes I guess Blogging is like therapy for me...lets me take out all my hidden frustrations and anger as the world outside doesn't care and/or I don't want then to know what goes on in my head....
So the whole point is that the last 3-4 months have been kind of surreal.....it is all happening so fast and at the same time it is happening in so many different ways with so many people involved that I am dazed and confused and am unable to understand what or why is this all happening at this time?
So as it happened...I suddenly meet some dames from my past ... and also start thinking about the past and what could have happened and what not....all very strange for me...not that it is painful or something just that it is all to strange for me...and my conclusions this time are even funnier..
E.g. I concluded that if I had ended up with Shikha we would have been divorced by now as I had shown her my best side only...and that she would get on my nerves and I would take on the hurt and still be good...and this kind of an attitude would have only lasted for some years and then I would have retaliated and things would have got out of hand kinds..and then...
Then the dame from office....I think I didn't take her seriously while she was all head over heels and I had been a complete asshole with her....she didn't deserve it all.. but somehow I still ended up doing that to her...sad again.....
And then the other one from offc I couldn't say anything to as I was too tired..but have always felt that would have been the happiest if I would have responded to her..and now she is going to be a mom..May God bless her kid :o) She was the nicest...but I was an asshole again..always rude and what not.....she still kept on being nice..how can I forget the idlis and appams made specially for me for breakfast as I used to get late to office and would miss my b/f... No one has ever done that to me....
Then there have been 2 in the very recent past..as in last 1 year or so....and now when I look back....I guess I have been a total SOB to all the girls in my life.....
Ahhh..why repent now? Well coz I guess I am going to get married soon and I suddenly realize that I might be an asshole to my wife too and that is the one thing I won't be able to handle... I mean.....you have to be the nicest and best-est person to your wife but am too scared that somewhere I would slip back into asshole-ness of mine and God I don't want to...
Dont't know what to do....need to do something about it....and fast
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